Time is still moving forward and i realize i am now 38. What the heck. I spent all my adulthood after goals which are still goals. I wish to make a better futurw. I keep telling myaelf this for the last 17 years. Maybe i will keep sayibg the sane until i die.
Ramblings of an empty incoherent mind
Time flies by like a bird. It can never wait for me. It can never favor me. It has played me or i have played it. But it never stops for me.
I wish i could change what i do. Change what i have done. But that will doesnt exist in my world for now.
There was a time
When I couldn’t afford a McDonald’s meal. It was a luxury I thought beyond me. The same time a khaki pants from Walmart was off limits. When I did gather courage to buy one for less than 20$, I felt I had accomplished something in life.
Looking back, I am forgetful and unthankful. Life is not about the latest cars or beat gadgets. I was more happy when I had that Walmart pants than now I can afford much better alhamdulilah.
Never forget where you come from. Remind you soul it’s place and let it not transgress with using you desires. I worked for 5.25$ per hour and it was a blessing.
Born with it
Came across alot of “influencers” recently. What is amazing is that they not older than 25 or so. So what makes them an influencer?
Apparently their last name. If you are born with a huge bank balance or family name or royalty. You are an influencer. You might not be capable of crap but you are an influencer.
Hail to the losers.
Souq Waqif
There is always something going on at Souq Waqif, tonight was no exception. There were these woman going around singing songs. Fun times 🙂 although my camera is starting to show its age in low light, I need to start using a flash
i miss you
I miss you with all my heart. I wish I could undo a lot of wrong doings. Maybe inshallah soon
Just a little bit of push
All I have to do it push my self a little bit and maybe things will get better. Gotta put that extra bit in and maybe things will work out inshallah. Trying to be optimistic rather than a pessimistic will help me accomplish all. All is can do is try inshallah and Allah will help me rest of the way. But one thing that is critical is the faith in the all mighty cuz without faith in him I can out in 200% but that won’t make a difference.
Iaido
I miss iaido. It was something I thoroughly enjoyed and was keen to get good at. I wish they start teaching it here one day.
Defeated
I am done. I am defeated. Finished and in utter despair. Life seems like a waste, a failure on every level and magnitude. Disappointment to everyone who I hold dear and who held me dear. I thought using religion was my salvation but that is not the case. I have failed my self in believeing that a person like me could be salvaged from the disasters of life. wish I could disappear and be nothing. I could avoid these expectations and demands. But I cannot. I cannot go anywhere. All I can be is what I am at this point. A disappointment
Don’t worry about the practicality but it has nice graphs
This is the outcome of my experience now. Management loves graphs and color coded crap. We don’t care if it even works but as long as it does color graphs then that is fine.
God help me